It has been some time since I have written on this blog. I have missed being with you here.
It is difficult to write this... I am heartbroken to share that Michael and I recently suffered the miscarriage of our first child. We were overjoyed to find out we were pregnant on St. Valentine's Day, February 14. At our first ultrasound on March 10, we saw our sweet baby with a tiny beating heart. That evening we excitedly shared the news with our families, rejoicing in the gift of life God gave us. The next day my doctor called with the news that our baby's heartbeat was very slow. She told us this meant one of two things: the baby's heart could be very new and still growing, or we would have a miscarriage. The week we had to wait before our follow-up ultrasound was long. So long. We prayed harder than we had ever prayed in our lives. I also had this scripture on my heart:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the Lord.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."
On March 17, St. Patrick's Day, we had our follow-up ultrasound. Our baby no longer had a heartbeat. The physical miscarriage did not start for almost two weeks, and when it did, my body did not take it well. I won't go into too much detail here, but over the course of seven days I had three emergency room visits (twice I had to be taken by ambulance), and finally a surgery. I felt like I was in a living hell. Never have I been in such a dark place. I struggled to hope.
But this past Sunday, praise God, I found hope again. I finally experienced some desperately needed healing, and I have been improving every day since then. Thank you, Lord.
...for the gift of faith to keep going when it seemed so difficult.
...for an amazing Catholic doctor who went above and beyond in her care and compassion for us.
...both of our mothers flew in to help take care of us.
...dear family & friends reached out daily, checking in and praying.
...and greatest of all, my husband's unwavering support. He was there for every moment. We have carried this heavy cross together. The sacrificial love Michael showed me was truly the love of God, a love made possible by the grace of the sacrament of marriage. Thank you, God, for marriage. Thank you, God, for Michael.
• • •
especially for healing and for peace.
Thank you for taking the time to listen to our story.